…the parrots begin to jabber

This is what Willis was talking about!

I screamed

Another service of thebug. The update to a prev post.  

Dear Mr. Dry,

Thank you for contacting us with your question.  Please note that at Blue Bunny, we take great care to insure that we provide the best quality to our customers.  Your letter is appreciated and we have checked into the problem.

Our quality control department has determined that the problem may have come from the processing portion of manufacturing. The machines that produce the Neapolitan product are calibrated twice a week. If this was at the end of the cycle, it is possible that the portions were not even. This will be addressed at the next quality control meeting.

Thank you very much for your letter and giving us a chance to keep your business. Please continue to enjoy our frozen dessert novelties and ice cream on us. Enclosed, you’ll find coupons.

Harold [last name] 

Blue Bunny

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August 9, 2007 Posted by | Spare time, Stupid complaint letters | 1 Comment

If they send me free ice cream, you can have some.

Dear people at Blue Bunny Ice Cream: 

Why is it when I buy your Neapolitan ice cream it’s always like 75% vanilla on top with hardly any chocolate? My wife says it all evens out as you get toward the bottom, but I don’t believe her. Can you check into this and get back to me? Also, is it okay to check it out at the store before I buy it?  Because they seem to hate that!

-Vincent Dry

July 28, 2007 Posted by | Spare time, Stupid complaint letters, Wha had happened was... | 1 Comment

Just did it

My Mom and Dad had two sons with different hobbies.  My brother likes to jog, read, run his business, and point at his degrees while talking about how great he is.  I like to make up crap (under the assumed name of an odd little dude from the town I grew up in) to complain about and send it off to companies to see what they will say.  So, we’re not really that different.  

Dear people at Nike,
I recently purchased a pair of your Air Jordan shoes believing 
all the ads. I am somewhat overweight and thought this may help.
Sadly, I am now just a fat guy that still can't jump with 
expensive shoes. Is this what you wanted?  What should I do now? 
Sincerely, 
-Vincent Dry
Response (Lisa) - 09:13 AM 
Dear Vincent,
Thank you for your recent Nike purchase. We are sorry to hear
that you are not satisfied with your Air Jordan's. We would 
like you to know that Nike footwear is technically designed 
to perform during specific athletic activities.  Unfortunately, 
they are not going to make you jump higher but they will 
give you the necessary support that you need while on the 
court. You may want to consider taking your Jordan's back 
to the retailer if you decide that they are not suited for 
your needs. 
 
Vincent, we appreciate the time you have taken 
to contact us and hope that you continue to think of Nike 
as a brand that represents quality.
Sincerely,
Lisa 
Nike
PS: Have you checked out NIKE iD yet? You can make your own 
custom Nike gear and buy it online at [some website]

July 24, 2007 Posted by | Spare time, Stupid complaint letters, Wha had happened was... | 2 Comments