…the parrots begin to jabber

This is what Willis was talking about!

Has it come to this? Defending Christmas?

Yesterday on my Facebook feed there were three consecutive posts about the pending Christmas season.  They were all predictable. Coming too early, too “commercial”, some in the comments were griping about the holiday itself.

So, allow me to interject a fact into the current mania.  Christmas is good.  Christmas is necessary.  And even if you deny the existence of a Christ, you benefit from Christmas.

Before this generation in the US, this holiday was so ingrained into our culture that it was our culture.  Hollywood legends, Bing Crosby and Jimmy Stewart’s vast film careers can be crystallized into two Christmas movie roles that are as indelible in our culture as Macy’s Thanksgiving parade (that ends with a Christmas celebration) or Charlie Brown’s little tree.  Christmas wasn’t an event; it was a day that the world stopped.  We need that stop.  Desperately.

We have as a society hardened to the truth.  We wait for nothing and anticipate even less.  I am among the worst at this.  I make busy work sometimes.  I check box scores on my phone because I don’t want to wait for the DVR version that I have waiting for me at home.  And I look at my watch during events that I should be enjoying.  I live in a world that doesn’t have time for anything but seems eternally bored.

Well, this is my Christmas 2013.  I will love my family, call my friends, wave at the neighbors, and be thankful that I live in a place that will allow me to do so.  This isn’t the day of the birth of my savior.  It is however, the day that we celebrate the coming.  I give gifts to symbolize the gift of salvation to my children who no longer believe in Santa.  I will build a fire and eat too much.  I know that even those here that are not believers (that will take the day for what it has been for hundreds of years in America) will share too in the blessing that is Christmas Day.

Bring the commercials!  Sell me stuff I don’t need.  And fill my house with reminders that Linus was right on.  “For unto you is born this day in the City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord.”

An early Merry Christmas to all my FB friends and to friends of the blog.

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October 29, 2013 Posted by | social, Uncategorized, What the... | 1 Comment

Carlin said it best with “shell shock”.

The Huffington Post just ran an article where they called pro-lifers “abortion rights opponents”. Clever (kind of). We used to be called pro-life then “anti-abortion” then “anti-choice” now this? Why not just call us zealots that oppose a person who escaped the prenatal scalpel, acid, or a vacuum to do this same thing just described their children? Doesn’t roll off the tongue but… I’m so tired of the left controlling our language.

I apologize to the millions that have died while I opposed this and voted for the other guy but never said much.

August 28, 2010 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social | , , , | Leave a comment

Go, Barry!

I’m inspired that my president is talking baseball with Tim and Joe in the press box of the All-Star game. Maybe he can make that his job. Now. Please.

Oh, it’s inspiring because he’s half white and I’m white and it’s not racists when white people notice that or is it black people? I forget who’s allowed to notice race. I’m pretty sure it’s me.

July 14, 2009 Posted by | Politics?, social, Sports | , , | Leave a comment

Holy Sh*t!

Headline on Yahoo today.  –> Mummies found in ancient Egypt burial chamber

News?  That’s like reporting that a fat guy was spotted at Krispy Kreme.  Isn’t that where they get mummies?  Ancient Egyptian burial chambers?  It would have been news if they opened a chamber and found it crammed full of Mr. Potato Heads or D.B. Cooper. 

Lazy headline writing.

April 12, 2009 Posted by | "News stories", social | , , , | 1 Comment

It’s not like I wasn’t doing anything while I wasn’t posting.

Who says I’m no artist?  Check it… www.BeanShirts.com  Adorable samples below.  Hit up the site and check it out.   

A long-time buddy from Oklahoma made the plunge and moved on out.  This is how we spent our summer break (this winter).  Hope nothing on the site offends.  Just silly stuff on a shirt.   

Anyway… Listen to Black Sabbath.  That is all!   

beatlessnapphitlernickelbacksabbathwangcopworkingparking

April 9, 2009 Posted by | Music, social, Spare time, Stuff | , , , , | 1 Comment

Dedicate one to the ladies… Now summertime’s here babe, need somethin’ to keep you cool

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry’s To Use Human Milk (link)

Man, I can’t wait to see the names of this stuff!  Boob Berry? Butter Cups?

September 24, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social, What the... | , , , | 1 Comment

Goodbye to a legend

News today from Athens, Ga of Larry Munson’s immediate retiring.  Munson was a legend in college football and will be missed all over Dawgdom.  The 85 year old has been calling only home games since last year but health problems must have gotten worse.  I can think of nobody (save cousin Ken) that would rather be there than Munson for a home game against unbeaten Alabama. 

Already miss him.  <– Click link for some greatness.

September 23, 2008 Posted by | College Football, social, Sports, These made the man | , , | Leave a comment

Can you imagine?!

You want a rolling depiction of misery?  Please see state’s evidence 1A (below). 

I pass this car at least once a week on the morning drive to Nashville.  In case you can’t read it… Yes this license plate reads; “AIRSPLY”.  Every time I pass her, I imagine her grooving to “All Outta Love” as she imagines what prom would have been like if Billy Jackson had asked her instead of Sarah! 

Anyway, long story slightly longer, I passed this chickie today and see her just letting some poor guy have it!  I don’t know what he did but he must have done a lot of it!  Poor guy.  Whoever you are, you are allowed to punch your boss, co-workers, the lunch counter lady, toddlers, and anyone else you come across right in the face.  I can’t imagine what that drive was like for you this morning.  Listening to this broad scream about socks on the living room floor while “Making Love Out of Nothing at All” is rocking the CD player.  This makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  What forms of suicide went through this guys head?

August 28, 2008 Posted by | Music, social, Things I've seen driving around Middle Tennessee, Uncategorized, What would you do? | , , , | 2 Comments

Thanks for the info, NAVS

Heard a PSA last week for a “cruelty free” shopping guide.  Ordered it here(link).  They claim in their stupid commercial that I can take it with me when I go shopping to help me buy items that were not tested on animals.  I say “stupid” because evidently this family lives in a house full of animal tested things and they are using the guide to find out what to wash their hair with. 

Anyway… I printed my guide this morning.  No more looking at the bottle in stores to see if these people choose to use me as a guinea pig on their stuff.  I have actually not purchased things in the past because they claim that they don’t test on animals.  No amount of feeling good about myself because I am saving the planet one furry rodent at a time will ease the pain of a burning scalp in the shower because some company didn’t want to cram it down a rabbit’s throat.  I think they would sell more shampoo if they set aside half of their label to explain that they fed a duck 2 pounds of this stuff and all he did was quack bubbles.  “We shaved 30 cats with this shaving creme and all we got was naked cats.  Buy our shaving creme!”

Comment: 

  1. this is stupid. you can’t be serious! why do conservatives and lazy people think that being nice to other beings makes you less of a person? the better question is what would you do if someone did experiements on your parents or your kids? what harm would it do to be nicer to all gods creatures? Comment by Jen | August 25, 2008 @ 2:42 pm

**Addendum – Thanks for the note, Jen.  This is a female friendly site and you’re always welcomed here! 

As for your stupid-ass comment, My parents and children have souls. If you are the same “Jen” that made those brilliant and enlightened comments about abortion a few months ago, you disagree with me that this is important, I know.  So, let’s put it a different way.  My parents and kids are smart enough not to drink 6 pounds of liquefied eye shadow.  At least my parents and one of my kids are.  That’s the rub.  I’d rather a lab rat get the effects of those fat free Doritos before unsuspecting Americans dig into them.  That is what happens when they don’t test.  You think a test monkey would have okay’d Crystal Pepsi?  No way.

I’m not saying I want “Super Extra Cruelty Tested” products tested on the furriest of bunnies.  Although… I’m getting a good idea.  That will be another post.  I’m just saying that I’d rather have a few dead mice, rats, pigeons, opossums, bats, frogs, chickens, beavers, owls, horses, cats, whales… name it than Mrs. Fullbug come into the kitchen and find out the mortgage is all hers now oh, and the peach flavored yogurt yum yums in a cup is poisonous.  Cruelty free but poisonous. 

August 25, 2008 Posted by | Politics?, social, Stuff | , , , | 3 Comments

Wait till I tell you about the pound of blow they had to snort for the good of the people

Suspended cop: Sex with prostitute wasn’t fun, it was work (link)

Thank you, Beaumont, TX for providing us with today’s cop story.  I miss the days when police just pulled kids over on 12th street in Moore, OK and harassed them about a broken tail light.  But these dudes… Man, they really go all in for their work! 

 

 

August 22, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social, Uncategorized, Wha had happened was... | , , | 1 Comment

I guess Hillary Clinton was right They ARE an important part of our economy

Amid a surge of American kidnappings at the U.S.-Mexico border, a survivor’s story. (link)

As Mrs. FullBug said last night when we saw this story on CNN; “They’re doing the jobs that Americans won’t do.  Think of all that ransom money going uncollected.  Why can’t we just leave them alone and let them try to make a living?”  Then she called me a racist for saying that I’d rather illegals from another country not kidnap Americans and demand money for their safe return.

August 21, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social, TV, What the... | , , , | 3 Comments

Picked up Mrs. Fullbug at the Nashville airport last night

"Pretty boring really. I stayed in my room most of the time."

MFB went to some leadership in medical blah, blah thing in New Orleans on Sunday.  I helped her unpack her bag after I picked her up.  I asked her why she bought beads.  Said she didn’t buy them.  That’s normal, right?   

August 20, 2008 Posted by | social, Stuff, Wha had happened was... | , , , | 3 Comments

“That deaf, dumb, blind kid sure plays some real hardball”

An Open Letter to the Old Fort Parkway Wal Mart in Murfreesboro, TN
Wal-Mart, More Hanna Montana than you can stand. Well, that's onr CD but you know what I mean.

Wal-Mart, More Hanna Montana than you can stand. Well, that's one CD but you know what I mean.

I find myself at a Wal-Mart about once a year.  Last night was this year’s time.  ‘Hoot’ (at about 4 years old) decided that she loves The Who.  So, I figured, a Who CD is just what that Disney, Cinderella, ‘Children’s Sunday School Sing-Along’ CD collection of hers needs.  I don’t know if it’s Roger Daltrey’s voice, Pete Townshend’s guitar, Keith Moon’s frantic drum pounding… Dunno.  I’ve never liked them that much.  But whenever they come on the radio in the truck or we pass by one of the dozens of commercials with their music in the background, she starts dancing and telling me to “keep it on this”.  Pretty remarkable, really.  I know their place.  Without them and Led Zep, rock music would be much different today.  So, to the CD section I go.

Hannah Montana, Weezer, Jay Z, Timberlake, crap FM fill in the blank blah, blah, blah… Nothing from The Who!  I checked again.  What the?  So, I get this kid with a name tag that was working on some high school honeys to help out.  I asked him if they have any of their CDs.  He looked at me like I slapped him.  Remember when Macaulay Culkin was pounding Uncle Buck with tons of questions in the kitchen?  It kind of turned into that. 

Me: Hey, man.  Do you have any CDs from The Who?

Kid: The what?

Me: No, The Who.

Kid: Blank stare

Me: You know… Moon, Daltrey, The Who!  (Blank stare) Won’t Get Fooled Again? My Generation? The Kids are Alright? Behind Blue Eyes? Whooooooo Are You?  Who? Who? Who? Who?

Kid: (cricket sounds)

I’m e-mailing someone in a red vest today.  I did see this while I went back out to check on my tire!  I think it’s like Corn Nuts.  Part corn part nuts all delicious.  I wonder how many deer it takes to make a bag this big

August 12, 2008 Posted by | Music, social, Stuff, What the... | , , , , | 4 Comments

I want this doctor!

You're not eating enough butter, Bug.

I’ve been sick for a week.  No updates here, no work, no Bean, no anything.  Watching TV last night and I see this!  That’s why I’m still sick.  My doctor would never stroll through a hospital sucking on a lung dart.  This doctor could fix me.  This dude would “prescribe” me a shot of bourbon, a carton of Camels and tell me to pay the dame out front.

August 8, 2008 Posted by | social, TV, Uncategorized, What the... | , , , , | Leave a comment

Is this the right question?

Feminists cry foul over Fat Princess

Does Sony’s cartoony castle game cross the line? (link)

Saw this article online today.  Odd thing to upset the fems over.  Sure, it does add to the stereotypes and the minds of little girls, big girls, and people in general over body image.  As a fat guy with a blog, I understand.  I do.  Really.  But is this the biggest problem?

I guess you pick your wars.  Pointing fingers at the Japanese (who don’t understand our culture) and provide us with hour after hour of great video of their ridiculous pop culture game shows is easier than looking at the enemy within.  So, I’ll sign up.  Booo filling a princess with cholorestrol.  Hooray Grand Theft Auto for giving extra points for stabbing hookers after you steal their money and beat them!  Japan, when will you learn?  Steal a Corvette and drive over a woman on the street, highest selling game of the year, not a peep from the fems.  Feed a princess some cake slathered with 7 minute frosting, get picketed.  God bless ugh… Nevermind. 

July 29, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social, Spare time, What the... | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The only “buddy” I’ve made online that didn’t cost $4.99 a minute

Genius level commenter, Ick, continues his insistence that Stanley Goldstein loves him some punching small babies in the face.  Something that made Mrs. Fullbug crack up as she read his comments in TheSportsbean’s Tennessee headquarters last night.  *Oklahoma branch has been quiet since JY found a way to break his notebook last week. 

To read more from the keyboard of this forward thinking intellect, click the obnoxious pic below. 

July 25, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Blogroll, social, Sports, Web brilliance | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Throw down time!

Recently, SPORTSBEAN.COM expired and went into a domain name auction. We acquired it and, since you own the theSPORTSBEAN.com version of this domain name, we wanted to provide you with the opportunity to own the preferred SPORTSBEAN.COM version.

Our company specializes in recovering preferred expiring domains and either selling them to individuals such as yourself or building out our own web presence on those valuable domains.SPORTSBEAN.COM is a pretty darn good domain name and, the truth is, the SPORTSBEAN.COM is a far stronger version of the name than the theSPORTSBEAN.com is.

 

SPORTSBEAN.COM is more intuitive and easier to remember.  Odds are people trying to get to your website are inadvertently going to SPORTSBEAN.COM because they assume that’s where they can find you. SPORTSBEAN.COM conveys Professionalism that theSPORTSBEAN.com cannot match.

If you’d like to own SPORTSBEAN.COM, you can buy it now by covering our acquisition costs and a modest profit.

 

Please advise,Ken Palm
ken@lbcdomaininsight.com  

iTime Marketing, Inc
322 N. Main Street
Davenport, IA 52801

My reply:

Subject: RE: SPORTSBEAN.COM [THESPORTSBEAN.COM@domainsbyproxy.com]
From: <Scott_Herndon@Dell.com>
Date: Thu, July 24, 2008 1:08 pm
To: askthebean@thesportsbean.com

No.

First thing, “professionalism that thesportsbean.com cannot match”?  You’ve obviously never been to this site.  I defy you to go there and find one instance of the ‘Bean attempting to be professional.  Just hang on to it, Ken Palm.  Maybe you can do something with it.  Make a site at sportsbean.com.  I’m afraid you’ve jumped the wrong claim, my man.  What you didn’t know is that the staff of theSprotsbeam.com has taken a solemn vow to always use an “article” before our websites.  That explains our other sites like TheThelionthewitchandthewardrobefanclub.org and others like it.  If we bought your site (which is really our site) we would have to attach another article in front of it like anSportsbean.com or some such nonsense like that.  Now, you’re not even making any sense at all, Ken Palm. 

I’ll tell you what.  We’ll agree to meet up in some alley and have a dance off to see who gets it.  Good luck, man.  Me and the entire staff of the ‘Bean gots mad dancing skillz.  We can do it up there in Iowa.  I don’t even care.  Let me know.  – www.theSportsbean.wordpress.com

July 24, 2008 Posted by | social, Sports, What the... | , , | 4 Comments

Somewhere in Murfreesboro, Tn, there is a man that is hating life!

"Dad said you were an idiot"

July 24, 2008 Posted by | social, Things I've seen driving around Middle Tennessee, Wha had happened was... | , | 1 Comment

How to not get ahead in business

Let’s say you’re out with the family for a Sunday afternoon drive.  If you go down a main street in your town, drive through some scenic countryside, and wind up at an intersection that you remember from the after dark attempt to find your manager’s house for a Christmas party… Don’t say to your wife that you remember this and you bet you can find your manager’s house.  Half an hour later, you will.  You’ll also realize that he’s on a dead end road and you really have to be looking for his place to “happen to drive by”. 

Not sure what told me this was a good idea but there it was.  Nice place.  Beautiful area.  We drove by and Hoot wanted to play at the playground (swing set in the backyard).  We turned around at a maple syrup advertisement(log cabin down the road).  On the way back, there was a little change.  Seems the boss had been grocery shopping or something.  Big silver SUV in the driveway with the hatch up and paper bags in the back.  I drive by kind of paralyzed.  I figure, giant red head with a bright orange shirt on in my black Explorer with the Georgia Bulldog sticker in the back glass.  He, uh… He may notice it’s me.  So, I hit the gas pretty hard.  The six year old was wondering what we had stolen and why we were peeling out of there so fast.  I said something about the iron being left on or something.

July 21, 2008 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, social, Things I've seen driving around Middle Tennessee | , , , | 1 Comment

NWA

What Else Jesse Jackson Said on That FNC Tape

Jackson_7_16.jpgFrom Mediabistro.net today: A TVNewser has been sent the transcript of what Jesse Jackson said Sunday morning July 6, as he prepared for an interview on Fox & Friends Weekend. Below is the partial transcript we received in our tips box, and confirmed to be authentic by Fox News Channel representatives.

Barack…he’s talking down to black people…telling n—s how to behave.

So, yes. Jesse Jackson did use the “N” word. But it was not directed at Barack Obama. Fox News and Bill O’Reilly have maintained there was more on the tape, but that the un-aired portion was not relevant to the issue at hand: about whether Obama was “talking down” to the black community.

Wow!  Two things come to mind.  One- Jackson is an enormous racist and racists usually use the word “nigger”.  No real sup rises here.  Second thing- Are we to assume that it is okay to call the entire black community “nigger” but since he didn’t call Obama “nigger” that’s okay? 

Where are you now, Sharpton?  Get your marching shoes on.  I would say time to demand Jessie’s job like you did Don Imus (never said “nigger”) but since Jackson’s job is stirring racism making millions from Rainbow PUSH and appearing on TV with you, I won’t hold my breath.  Want to bet you’d be hearing something about this if Limbaugh or ANY other white conservative say this.  Remember the conversation Rusty Griswold had with the girl in Germany on European Vacation?  “Those bells haven’t rung in years…they’re going to hang somebody”

July 17, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Politics?, social | , , , , , | 7 Comments