…the parrots begin to jabber

This is what Willis was talking about!

How to not get ahead in business

Let’s say you’re out with the family for a Sunday afternoon drive.  If you go down a main street in your town, drive through some scenic countryside, and wind up at an intersection that you remember from the after dark attempt to find your manager’s house for a Christmas party… Don’t say to your wife that you remember this and you bet you can find your manager’s house.  Half an hour later, you will.  You’ll also realize that he’s on a dead end road and you really have to be looking for his place to “happen to drive by”. 

Not sure what told me this was a good idea but there it was.  Nice place.  Beautiful area.  We drove by and Hoot wanted to play at the playground (swing set in the backyard).  We turned around at a maple syrup advertisement(log cabin down the road).  On the way back, there was a little change.  Seems the boss had been grocery shopping or something.  Big silver SUV in the driveway with the hatch up and paper bags in the back.  I drive by kind of paralyzed.  I figure, giant red head with a bright orange shirt on in my black Explorer with the Georgia Bulldog sticker in the back glass.  He, uh… He may notice it’s me.  So, I hit the gas pretty hard.  The six year old was wondering what we had stolen and why we were peeling out of there so fast.  I said something about the iron being left on or something.

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July 21, 2008 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, social, Things I've seen driving around Middle Tennessee | , , , | 1 Comment

Thanks, Marcy. You’re adorable.

Listening to talk radio today and heard a consumer type news break thing.  “Marcy” from Barrons Magazine had a report to tell me that my government check should be here shortly.  I’m pulling my hair out over this!  “You may have already received some free money from the government” spouts Marcy.  Free money?  Have we really gone this far?  The Dems and well… Over the last 5 years or so, the Repubs too have confiscated money from me all year long and have graciously decided to let me have some of it back like some peasant holding out a hand to a benevolent king!  I would say that there is some tea about to be dumped into Boston Harbor but it’s not.  When I see people still living in trailers in New Orleans and refusing to leave because the government owes them and a reporter from what was once a RESPONSIBLE, BUSINESS journal like Barrons says something so fundamentally stupid as government giving me money… We’re done.  I say, get to the airport early to get a window seat on the hand basket.  Now, I’m just kind of sick.      

Apologies to a friend Clay Wood (link).  His nut ball buddy, Ron Paul doesn’t seem to give a damn that radical Islam wants those bunch of aid giving, nation building, food program establishing, Americans dead but he wants to get rid of the IRS.  I’m rethinking my lukewarm, half-assed McCain support.     

May 7, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", I'll take that punch in the face now, Politics?, social, Uncategorized, What the... | Leave a comment

two and a half hours with 5 and no college football mentioned?!

Met 5 for lunch then across the way to Starbucks for some coffee and conversation. Snapped this pic of the fireplace while 5 hit the bathroom. The following is the list of categories on this blog. I’ve scratched through the ones we didn’t hit on. Great day!  *Bold type indicates when we spent the most time.  (not listed story of me almost killing myself with a gasoline fire in my backyard from the day before)   

“News stories”
Book Shelf
Church
College Football
I’ll take that punch in the face now
Music
Politics?
social
Spare time
Sports
Stabbing deaths
Stuff
Stupid complaint letters
The Mick
These made the man
TV
Web brilliance
Wha had happened was…
What the…
What would you do?

May 3, 2008 Posted by | "News stories", Blogroll, Book Shelf, Church, College Football, I'll take that punch in the face now, Music, Politics?, social, Spare time, Sports, Stuff, The Mick, These made the man, TV, Web brilliance, Wha had happened was..., What the..., What would you do? | 1 Comment

“I didn’t leave the Democratic Party. The party left me.” Ronald Reagan, 1962

Wha had happen?

Watching the results from Ohio and Texas roll in.  Pretty amazing.  It’s hard to imagine how this is happening.  *Quick disclaimer: I was a Hunter supporter then, Thompson, then… started to store up aluminum foil to make my family pointed hats like my buddy, Clay (here).  I really did consider Paul for a few minutes.  Then, I just kind of pouted for a month or two.

My party has just nominated Senator John McCain.  The same McCain that teamed with Ted Kennedy on immigration “reform”.  A less than exhaustive list of why this guy is no conservative is listed here. (link)    

Thank you, Travis for getting always being hungry

I went to visit my buddy, Travis Few and his wife Shelly in Oxford, Mississippi in 1994.  I decided I needed a tattoo since I was in a cool college town and tattoos were still illegal to get in the republic of Oklahoma.  I was going to get a Republican elephant on my arm.  That would be cool.  I had worked on campaigns.  I was a one-time officer of the College Republicans.  I even held a cool party job after that trip.  Travis got hungry and wanted to get some chicken on a stick. (link) <– Worth the click  That and the fact the the Hello Kitty tat was taking too long on the tipsy little princess in the chair AND the line was still long at midnight… We went home (after some tasty chick on a stick).  That alone separates me from the dudes out there with the REO Speedwagon Forever tattoos. 

So, what’s a brother to do?

I don’t think I’m a Republican for the first time in my life.  I actually respect the Dems for their honesty.  They are going to open the borders even wider.  They are going to confiscate more of my paycheck to give away to whoever they think deserves my salary more than me.  But they are telling us that.  McCain will do it dressed in an uncomfortable Republican suit.  

I root for Hillary to pull out Texas and Ohio.  Beat the crap out of each other.  Spend all of their money.  Dirty each other up and limp in to the general election for (sigh) the New York Times’ endorsed, John McCain to win this thing.

I’m going to bed.     

March 4, 2008 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, Politics?, social | 5 Comments

Lost in Love and I don’t know much

To the two dudes in the parking lot at work this morning.  You know who you are.  You smirk when I say something funny in the break room .  You both seem pretty cool.  The tall one has a really pretty girlfriend that brings you lunch sometimes.  I don’t know your names.  Anyway… That was Air Supply playing loudly from my SUV this morning at abut 6:50am.  However, it was Led Zeppelin until my giant finger hit the wrong button on the XM receiver when I was trying to turn the thing off to go into the office.  As for your puzzled look (puzzled look = I knew that Scott dude was probably a fag), I can explain this.  I panicked.  I should have just turned the radio off and gave you the “dude nod”. Instead, I chose to act like the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island and wildly slap at the receiver with my hat and yell “Gilligan!”.  Or something like that.  I know there will be no more smirks at my comments in the break room.  Let’s just agree not to make any eye contact until all this ugliness is past us.   

October 10, 2007 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, Music, social, Wha had happened was... | 5 Comments

Suck it, Burger King

Last night, (after getting home from dinner with some friends) I’m outside under the dashboard of my poorly lit SUV around 9:00.  Stupid satellite radio cord is tangled and there’s not enough wire to nevermind… it was real mechanical stuff.  You wouldn’t understand.  Anyway… there’s some dude walking down the street and there’s no light.  I want to go inside but I can’t get the $^%ing thing unstuck!  Just then, I hear “call me!“.  So, I do what most men would do.  I jump, hit my head on the handle thing on the passenger side of the truck, and spin around looking for the creepy dude.  He’s gone (probably back in his house looking through the window at the guy cussing a radio and smashing his head).  It was right around then that I found this guy (below).  Burger King gave bribed kids with these a few weeks back during the Simpson’s Movie hub bub.  Seems “Barney” says “call me” when the button is pressed with the handle of a phillips head screw driver.  Or… Hoot’s finger when I brought this in from the truck.  “There he is!  I haven’t seen that yellow boy in a long time.”  “Call me”  “Call me”  “Call me” etc…

Barney Gumble

October 1, 2007 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, Wha had happened was..., What would you do? | 5 Comments

This still in: Leona Helmsley still dead

Looks like I owe an apology to all those Leona Helmsley touched over the years. As an update to an earlier post, I guess she wasn’t just a jackass.  She may have been a crazy jackass.  Please accept my apologies to all those that mourn this dear woman.

__________________________________________________

NEW YORK (AP)- Leona Helmsley’s dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley’s grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire’s estate.

Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.  She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer — so long as they visit their father’s grave site once each calendar year.

Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny of the $5 million she left for each.Helmsley left nothing to two of Jay Panzirer’s other children — Craig and Meegan Panzirer — for “reasons that are known to them,” she wrote.

But no one made out better than Trouble, who once appeared in ads for the Helmsley Hotels, and lived up to her name by biting a housekeeper.“I direct that when my dog, Trouble, dies, her remains shall be buried next to my remains in the Helmsley mausoleum,” Helmsley wrote in her will.

The mausoleum, she ordered, must be “washed or steam-cleaned at least once a year.” She left behind $3 million for the upkeep of her final resting place in Westchester County, where she is buried with her husband, Harry Helmsley.

She ordered that cash from sales of the Helmsley’s residences and belongings, reported to be worth billions, be sold and that the money be given to the Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Charitable Trust.Her longtime spokesman, Howard Rubenstein, had no comment.

Helmsley died earlier this month at her Connecticut home. She became known as a symbol of 1980s greed and earned the nickname “the Queen of Mean” after her 1988 indictment and subsequent conviction for tax evasion. One employee had quoted her as snarling, “Only the little people pay taxes.”

August 29, 2007 Posted by | "News stories", I'll take that punch in the face now, social, What the... | 4 Comments

Can’t wait to see the burqa portion of the Miss America pagent.

British prison officers who wore a St. George’s Cross tie-pin have been advised by groups to remove them over concerns about the symbol’s “racist” connotations.

The pins showing the English flag – which has often raised hackles due to its connection with the Crusades of the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries – could be “misconstrued,” Chief Inspector of Prisons Anne Owers said in a section on race in a report on a jail in the northern English city of Wakefield.

Chris Doyle, director of the Council for the Advancement of Arab-British Understanding, said Tuesday “The red cross was an insensitive reminder of the Crusades… it was now time for England to find a new flag and a patron saint who is “not associated with our bloody past and one we can all identify with.”

Reading this makes you think that the Europeans really deserve what they get. Spain shows that they will tolerate Muslim extremists in their government and people start dying in their train stations. While England stands by and slowly watches the sun set on the Empire.  

Then I see this. I guess we can’t wait to hand our America over to the PC crowd and welcome these peace loving, misunderstood people with open arms!   

Take not the Jews and Christians for friends. They are friends one to another. He among you who takes them for friends is one of them. Lo! Allah guids not these wrongdoing people. From the Quran (Surah 5:51) 

Welcome neighbors! Come right on in.      

August 21, 2007 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, Politics?, social | 5 Comments

The waiting is the hardest part

I got this e-mail at work from a friend of mine at the same co.  His comments are in bold print below. 

———————————————
Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2007 7:38 AM
To: [me and another buddy at work]
Subject: FW: thereto greater bewhisker

            I love getting emails like this in the morning


From: X
Sent: Monday, July 23, 2007 8:24 PM
To: Me
Subject: thereto greater bewhisker

Girls don’t like you? We have a solution. Viagra and Cialis will help you anytime. Buy Licensed and Quality Viagra or Cialis. Reproductive and ED problems solution

[some website]

Buy and get pills directly to your home.

———————

I agree with him.  I love getting this crap at work, home, or where ever I get my e-mail (no matter how many accounts I have).  I’m not sure this one would help the guy they’re trying to sell to.  I mean if you’re an ass and women hate you (TheFullBug), I’m not sure cramming a handful of these things will help you.  That would more than likely lead to some frustration. 

July 26, 2007 Posted by | I'll take that punch in the face now, social, What the... | Leave a comment