…the parrots begin to jabber

This is what Willis was talking about!

You make the punchline

News headline on UPI today

Sexual assault alleged at Playboy mansion <– Click that! Click that!

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August 9, 2007 Posted by | social, Wha had happened was..., What the... | 5 Comments

I screamed

Another service of thebug. The update to a prev post.  

Dear Mr. Dry,

Thank you for contacting us with your question.  Please note that at Blue Bunny, we take great care to insure that we provide the best quality to our customers.  Your letter is appreciated and we have checked into the problem.

Our quality control department has determined that the problem may have come from the processing portion of manufacturing. The machines that produce the Neapolitan product are calibrated twice a week. If this was at the end of the cycle, it is possible that the portions were not even. This will be addressed at the next quality control meeting.

Thank you very much for your letter and giving us a chance to keep your business. Please continue to enjoy our frozen dessert novelties and ice cream on us. Enclosed, you’ll find coupons.

Harold [last name] 

Blue Bunny

August 9, 2007 Posted by | Spare time, Stupid complaint letters | 1 Comment

I’d like to thank polish sausage, my abacus, and Mr. Les Paul

There are not enough Hall of Fames

Here are a few proposals and a good idea for the first inductee:

Fat Guy Hall of Fame (Kenosha, WI)

Oliver Hardy – He blazed the trail for fat guys everywhere to be viewed as stupid, lazy, inept people incapable of coexisting with the normal people. Thank you, Ollie, for making every job interview I have been on since college harder than it has to be!

Accountant Hall of Fame (NYC, NY)

Saint Matthew – He wrote a gospel not only good enough to survive the Council of Carthage and make the Gospel Final Four, but it also has the honor of kicking off the New Testament. He was a tax collector until Jesus Christ said two words: “Follow me.” In relating the Calling of Matthew Story, three gospels have noted New Testament jerks, the Pharisees referring to accountants like Matthew in the same sentence as “sinners.” They must have seen those Arthur Andersen auditors coming.

Rock Roadie Hall of Fame (Ocean City, MD)

That guy that sound checked the guitars between the sets at the Alice in Chains/Van Halen show at Fiddlers Green Amphitheater in Denver, CO in 1992. He played like a rock star. He ate up the crowd noise. He may have been fresh out of rehab (with a 20 year old Blue Oyster Cult shirt on). But for 5 minutes, he was Edward Van Halen. Rock on, dude!

August 9, 2007 Posted by | social, What the... | 1 Comment