beckham is tough? and amy winehouse is beautiful, england is relevant, soccer is entertaining…….. 

Too bad they did not take away his orange slices and Sunny Delight, then they would have really hurt him. Soccer sucks.

Amen

I’m inspired that my president is talking baseball with Tim and Joe in the press box of the All-Star game. Maybe he can make that his job. Now. Please.

Oh, it’s inspiring because he’s half white and I’m white and it’s not racists when white people notice that or is it black people? I forget who’s allowed to notice race. I’m pretty sure it’s me.

Headline on Yahoo today.  –> Mummies found in ancient Egypt burial chamber

News?  That’s like reporting that a fat guy was spotted at Krispy Kreme.  Isn’t that where they get mummies?  Ancient Egyptian burial chambers?  It would have been news if they opened a chamber and found it crammed full of Mr. Potato Heads or D.B. Cooper. 

Lazy headline writing.

Who says I’m no artist?  Check it… www.BeanShirts.com  Adorable samples below.  Hit up the site and check it out.   

A long-time buddy from Oklahoma made the plunge and moved on out.  This is how we spent our summer break (this winter).  Hope nothing on the site offends.  Just silly stuff on a shirt.   

Anyway… Listen to Black Sabbath.  That is all!   

I’ll lay odds that this company has a hard time getting women delivery drivers.

See also Link provided  <– 

That felt good and it needed to happen a long time ago.  But why now?  Must have been last Wednesday.  I roll up to work rocking some REO loud enough to be heard and pull into the space in front of a guy that is well, (thinking about how to describe him) terribly, terribly, terribly gay.  I see this dude all the time.  Some small talk in the break room about his cool car, talk about what he does at the office… You know.  But on Wednesday, he gave me the “dude nod”.  As to say, I know you listen to REO Speedwagon.  It’s not your choice, really.  You were born that way. 

So, before this thing gets so far out of hand that when people talk about REO Speedwagon fans they add the disclaimer; “not that there’s anything wrong with that”, I need to set a few things straight. 

• This band of love song singing, adult contemporary radio staples started out with long hair and sang about being anti-establishment hippies in the very early ’70’s.  I mean, they were a rock and roll band!
• They had one of the cool band logos that rocked a set of wings a la Aerosmith and Queen. 
• Aside from writing some of their great songs, founding member, Gary Richrath could straight up play a Les Paul!  Just listen to him.  here, here, and here <– Great example here. Start around the 1:50 mark.
• Bruce Hall (and before him) Greg Philbin are great bass players.  Steven Bush, quit laughing at me and check it. –> (here)
• When Kevin Cronin was firmly in the frontman seat by album three, they were already an excellent bluesy Midwestern hard rock band.  He brought that piano/guitar ballads and they started getting commercial success.  As drummer, Alan Gratzer put it; “We started doing wedding songs.”
•  Last point?  Everyone I know that has made fun of me for being an REO fan is wrong.  Astonishing, I know.  But true.  Every one of you. 

You may now all go about your business of calling me a fag.

So, Mrs. Fullbug goes to the dentist.  There is no parking spot.  Next door? Someplace called The Learning Academy with an empty parking lot.  MFB does what anyone would do.  When she comes out, she is greeted with the following day brightener under her windshield wiper.  5 and 1/2 hours later, the Impala has still not turned into the threatened amphibian.  Maybe they should call it “The Lernin’ Academy”.  Maybe you should think twice before you send your little darling to this joint.  “Your” now warned.  Ribbit.

NEW YORK (AP) - Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew: He’s gay. The cover of the latest People magazine shows Aiken holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: “Yes, I’m Gay.” The cover also has the quote: “I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things.”

Linked story

Next People mag’s investigative wing is going to uncover that Ruben Studdard was black!  I don’t know what to believe anymore!

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry’s To Use Human Milk (link)

Man, I can’t wait to see the names of this stuff!  Boob Berry? Butter Cups?

News today from Athens, Ga of Larry Munson’s immediate retiring.  Munson was a legend in college football and will be missed all over Dawgdom.  The 85 year old has been calling only home games since last year but health problems must have gotten worse.  I can think of nobody (save cousin Ken) that would rather be there than Munson for a home game against unbeaten Alabama. 

Already miss him.  <– Click link for some greatness.

Bulgaria gives up 139 shots on goal in 82-0 women’s hockey loss (link)

Wow! They averaged one goal evey 44 seconds!  The best part (from the AP version of this story) was the report that the Bulgarian coach pulled the goalie after 76 goals.  Man, that 77th goal must have been really soft!

You want a rolling depiction of misery?  Please see state’s evidence 1A (below). 

I pass this car at least once a week on the morning drive to Nashville.  In case you can’t read it… Yes this license plate reads; “AIRSPLY”.  Every time I pass her, I imagine her grooving to “All Outta Love” as she imagines what prom would have been like if Billy Jackson had asked her instead of Sarah! 

Anyway, long story slightly longer, I passed this chickie today and see her just letting some poor guy have it!  I don’t know what he did but he must have done a lot of it!  Poor guy.  Whoever you are, you are allowed to punch your boss, co-workers, the lunch counter lady, toddlers, and anyone else you come across right in the face.  I can’t imagine what that drive was like for you this morning.  Listening to this broad scream about socks on the living room floor while “Making Love Out of Nothing at All” is rocking the CD player.  This makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  What forms of suicide went through this guys head?

Ick’s pick ‘em contest is on!  Please go to www.GodIsASoonerFan.com (link) to join the fun!

Heard a PSA last week for a “cruelty free” shopping guide.  Ordered it here(link).  They claim in their stupid commercial that I can take it with me when I go shopping to help me buy items that were not tested on animals.  I say “stupid” because evidently this family lives in a house full of animal tested things and they are using the guide to find out what to wash their hair with. 

Anyway… I printed my guide this morning.  No more looking at the bottle in stores to see if these people choose to use me as a guinea pig on their stuff.  I have actually not purchased things in the past because they claim that they don’t test on animals.  No amount of feeling good about myself because I am saving the planet one furry rodent at a time will ease the pain of a burning scalp in the shower because some company didn’t want to cram it down a rabbit’s throat.  I think they would sell more shampoo if they set aside half of their label to explain that they fed a duck 2 pounds of this stuff and all he did was quack bubbles.  “We shaved 30 cats with this shaving creme and all we got was naked cats.  Buy our shaving creme!”

Comment: 

1. this is stupid. you can’t be serious! why do conservatives and lazy people think that being nice to other beings makes you less of a person? the better question is what would you do if someone did experiements on your parents or your kids? what harm would it do to be nicer to all gods creatures? Comment by Jen | August 25, 2008 @ 2:42 pm

**Addendum – Thanks for the note, Jen.  This is a female friendly site and you’re always welcomed here! 

As for your stupid-ass comment, My parents and children have souls. If you are the same “Jen” that made those brilliant and enlightened comments about abortion a few months ago, you disagree with me that this is important, I know.  So, let’s put it a different way.  My parents and kids are smart enough not to drink 6 pounds of liquefied eye shadow.  At least my parents and one of my kids are.  That’s the rub.  I’d rather a lab rat get the effects of those fat free Doritos before unsuspecting Americans dig into them.  That is what happens when they don’t test.  You think a test monkey would have okay’d Crystal Pepsi?  No way.

I’m not saying I want “Super Extra Cruelty Tested” products tested on the furriest of bunnies.  Although… I’m getting a good idea.  That will be another post.  I’m just saying that I’d rather have a few dead mice, rats, pigeons, opossums, bats, frogs, chickens, beavers, owls, horses, cats, whales… name it than Mrs. Fullbug come into the kitchen and find out the mortgage is all hers now oh, and the peach flavored yogurt yum yums in a cup is poisonous.  Cruelty free but poisonous.