It’s not like I wasn’t doing anything while I wasn’t posting.

Who says I’m no artist?  Check it… www.BeanShirts.com  Adorable samples below.  Hit up the site and check it out.   

A long-time buddy from Oklahoma made the plunge and moved on out.  This is how we spent our summer break (this winter).  Hope nothing on the site offends.  Just silly stuff on a shirt.   

Anyway… Listen to Black Sabbath.  That is all!   

You are correct, Sir! I mean… Bean.

Ick’s pick ‘em contest is on!  Please go to www.GodIsASoonerFan.com (link) to join the fun!

 

How many Ick’s does it take to get to the center of football pick ‘em greatness

Girl, you know it

Zero.  I am it.  As you may recall I’m sort of a big deal when it comes to picking college football games. (link)  Please see the above picture of 2006’s award ceremony with Rob (Milli) and Fab (Vanilli impersonator Eugene Preston) moments before they awarded me the college football pick ‘em award.  This year, Ick of Ickscorner is inviting the Bug to his football pick ‘em extravaganza.  This is likely to be OU / Texas 2003 all over again.  See you in the winner’s circle.

Is this the right question?

Feminists cry foul over Fat Princess

Does Sony’s cartoony castle game cross the line? (link)

Saw this article online today.  Odd thing to upset the fems over.  Sure, it does add to the stereotypes and the minds of little girls, big girls, and people in general over body image.  As a fat guy with a blog, I understand.  I do.  Really.  But is this the biggest problem?

I guess you pick your wars.  Pointing fingers at the Japanese (who don’t understand our culture) and provide us with hour after hour of great video of their ridiculous pop culture game shows is easier than looking at the enemy within.  So, I’ll sign up.  Booo filling a princess with cholorestrol.  Hooray Grand Theft Auto for giving extra points for stabbing hookers after you steal their money and beat them!  Japan, when will you learn?  Steal a Corvette and drive over a woman on the street, highest selling game of the year, not a peep from the fems.  Feed a princess some cake slathered with 7 minute frosting, get picketed.  God bless ugh… Nevermind. 

Going to Europe and (I guess) opening a store

Mrs FullBug and I are heading off to Lisbon and Dublin in June.  Above is a short list of things MFB thought to jot down to bring on the trip.  She’s added to this since Sunday night.  Some of my favorites: “ponytail” holder, garbage bag, clock, nail polish, towel. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Pie

    

Next weekiend, we’re doing something I’d rather do.  Like … I don’t know… getting stabbed in the face or something.   

two and a half hours with 5 and no college football mentioned?!

Met 5 for lunch then across the way to Starbucks for some coffee and conversation. Snapped this pic of the fireplace while 5 hit the bathroom. The following is the list of categories on this blog. I’ve scratched through the ones we didn’t hit on. Great day!  *Bold type indicates when we spent the most time.  (not listed story of me almost killing myself with a gasoline fire in my backyard from the day before)   

“News stories”
Book Shelf
Church
College Football
I’ll take that punch in the face now
Music
Politics?
social
Spare time
Sports
Stabbing deaths
Stuff
Stupid complaint letters
The Mick
These made the man
TV
Web brilliance
Wha had happened was…
What the…
What would you do?

THAT’S why my tech support rep started crying when I asked him to fix my printer!

RIP this guy<- (link)

Gary Gygax, one of the co-creators of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, according to Stephen Chenault, CEO of Troll Lord Games.

Gygax designed the original D&D game with Dave Arneson in 1974, and went on to create the Dangerous Journeys and Lejendary Adventure RPGs, as well as a number of board games. He also wrote several fantasy novels.

“I don’t think I’ve really grokked it yet,” said Mike Mearls, the lead developer of the upcoming 4th edition of Dungeons and Dragons. “He was like the cool uncle that every gamer had. He shaped an entire generation of gamers.”

Cool uncle? 

How come when I went to Netflix this morning to see when I’m getting “The Life Aquatic”…

I got a pop-up for Netflix?  Are they making fun of me?     

Let’s set the record straight

   

“5″ taught me me to love the game.  Me and Train know how to pick bowl games.  TheFullBug has 2 in a row and is 3-2 overall!  How’s the professor, “5″ doing? 0-5.  The Chicago Cubs of picking college bowl games lives with my sister-in-law.  Maybe next year.  Ha ha ha ha ha hee hee (cough) hee hee hmmmm  

Notes while watching American Idol tonight

• Did the dude from Egypt on American Idol just say: “I want to love a girl from the hair to the nipple.”?  [Hitting TIVO] Yes.  Yes, he did.
• MC Hammer and Randy buy their glasses at the same place.
• Milo Turk (dude with the fuzzy vest) was ripped off. A bald guy with a porn star mustache singing about not having sex?  And they are not even going to vote on him?  
• Bearded men simply do not wear enough capes.  I’m not just talking about the Dell tech support dude dressed in the crazy bikini.  I just mean that in general. 
• The chick in the gold with the big white hat looks exactly like JJ ‘Kid Dy-no-mite’ Walker.  Not that this is bad.  Just exactly like JJ, that’s all.
• I think they should let the girl with the glitter that is going to go into “actressing” and the Princess Leah chick with the polka dots wrestle for a ticket to Hollywood. 
• The cage fighting chick from Oregon and the kid with the dreads from Delaware look like an early favorites.

A few things I learned in December

Santa Claus IS real.  I know this because I stood behind him waiting to pee.  No mortal man would be able to go that long!  Lay off the eggnog, Nick!

$95.00 a night does not cover the high cost of local phone calls at the N. Little Rock Hampton Inn.    

When commenting on the “Introducing the vanilla Frosty” sign at Wendy’s, congratulating the dude at the window for inventing the vanilla shake is funnier to you than him. 

The Arizona State band has the most homo looking uniforms I’ve ever seen on a marching band.  Looks kind of like a local cable access gay super hero TV show outfit.     

Without these brave men, we’d all be waist deep in Foo!

   A confession to my hipster buddies (I’m looking at you, Jednik and Clay).

I admit that I am behind the curve.  (Old man voice pumping bony fist in the air) ’80’s metal was good enough then and there’s nothing wrong with it now.  Honestly, The last 10 years or so… I can not tell the difference between LimpNickleCreedBiskit and Chris Daughtry’s whiny, grading pop songs.  Through all of the crappy music of the 1990’s and the 00’s there came The Foo Fighters.  I thought this whole time that Alice in Chains was going to be the lone stand out from this noise.  But an an unquenchable thirst for the smack got Alice in Chains’ front man Layne Staley and they checked out of this competition.   

So, in another show of greatness from Mrs. FullBug, she laid this CD on me last night.  She said that she was tired of me always saying I liked the song on my truck’s stereo and inevitably finding out it was The Foo Fighters.  Great CD.  Great band.

Hurts me to say it.  Lead singer, Dave Grohl was the drummer for the band that killed metal.  I then reward him with a prized place on my favorite website.  Now, who’s the Foo?  

Another in a long line of funny videos from the Fighters –>   Click Me! Click Me!

5 things I learned over the Labor Day weekend.

5. Tennessee and Michigan still have a chance to meet in a bowl game. Just not that bowl game.

4. Having an infection and a high fever most of the weekend is even less fun than it sounds.

3. Eating hamburgers at 5’s house is a fine way to spend a holiday evening.

2. Seeing or hearing about number 81 for Florida State still makes me giggle. STILL.

1. Soundgarden is just not the same coming out of my 5 year olds Hello Kitty radio.

 

Thefullbug does math or… excuses for the profoundly anti-social

I hate parties. Why stand in a room full of people I don’t know with nothing I can think of to say to any of them (or even a room full of people I know but see all the time anyway), when I can stay at home with loud rock n roll on the stereo or a baseball game on the tube or a nice quiet book to read?

A common ploy used by friends in attempts to get me to attend their parties is to inform me that there will be free beer. For instance, a friend of a friend recently invited me to his wife’s baby shower this coming weekend by saying that the men would be in the basement drinking free beer. Aside from the fact that one of the privileges afforded the single male is that he is not required to attend bridal or baby showers, I felt it was my duty to expose Free Booze at Parties for the shite that it is.

Take the friend with the baby shower. Is it truly free to drink his beer? Well, there is no cover charge and he won’t be charging for each bottle of Molson, but what about the cost of getting to his free beer? He lives across town, so I would drive to his house. The round-trip mileage comes out to 9.4 miles. If we take the standard IRS 2006 mileage rate (based on an annual study that calculates the fixed and variable cost of operating an automobile) of $0.36 per mile, we come up with the following calculation: 9.4 miles x $0.36/mile = $3.39 

So if I go to my friend’s party and drink one beer or ten beers, it will still cost me $3.39. But let’s assume I’m a responsible citizen and have three beers so that I am able to drive home safely.

Now let’s look at how much it costs to drink purchased beer at home. Let’s say I follow a general pattern and have on stock some tasty Pete’s bottles. I purchased them for $15.32 a case including tax. The cost breaks out to $0.64 per bottle. (Note: the mileage cost associated with purchasing this beer does not enter the calculation as it is part of my ordinary mileage. Mileage to a party is extraordinary and is hence treated as a cost.) If I have the same amount of three beers that I would have had at my friend’s party, the cost is as follows: 3 beers x $0.64/beer = $1.92

Hmmm it actually costs less to stay home and drink beer I paid for myself than it is to go to my friend’s and drink “free” beer. In fact, I could stay home, drink two more beers (5 beers = $3.20 total cost), it would still cost me less and I’d get a nice beer buzz before I went out to mow.

I screamed

Another service of thebug. The update to a prev post.  

Dear Mr. Dry,

Thank you for contacting us with your question.  Please note that at Blue Bunny, we take great care to insure that we provide the best quality to our customers.  Your letter is appreciated and we have checked into the problem.

Our quality control department has determined that the problem may have come from the processing portion of manufacturing. The machines that produce the Neapolitan product are calibrated twice a week. If this was at the end of the cycle, it is possible that the portions were not even. This will be addressed at the next quality control meeting.

Thank you very much for your letter and giving us a chance to keep your business. Please continue to enjoy our frozen dessert novelties and ice cream on us. Enclosed, you’ll find coupons.

Harold [last name] 

Blue Bunny

Blog lesson 1: Put random dirty terms in your posts to insure local perverts and 12 year old boys click on your site

Pick me! Pick me!   <– Click that! Click that!

Found the above on the list of referring sites to the blog. Seems the little story about a pager clip brought them in from everywhere. So, in an attempt to give the people what they want, I am running it again.  I protected the youth of America from the address right above thefullbug. The editorial board however, decided to leave in the naked poker game from Ireland. It figures to cross the line from salacious to entertainment. Drunk, naked, pasty white, Micks fist fighting over the last keg of Guinness will be a good learning experience for the young people. *note: I’d log in early. The drunk, naked fighting should start about 20 seconds after the start of the thing.    

*Attn: search engines. This post contains the following terms: naked, drunk, fist fighting, and references to alcohol. Send them on in.

Boobies, boob, boob, boob, boobies.

If they send me free ice cream, you can have some.

Dear people at Blue Bunny Ice Cream: 

Why is it when I buy your Neapolitan ice cream it’s always like 75% vanilla on top with hardly any chocolate? My wife says it all evens out as you get toward the bottom, but I don’t believe her. Can you check into this and get back to me? Also, is it okay to check it out at the store before I buy it?  Because they seem to hate that!

-Vincent Dry

Are you ready for some (real) football?!

What did I come home to tonight?  A letter from the good people at DirecTV and this poster thanking me for signing up for ESPN’s Gameplan.  The greatest woman in the world subscribed for me last year and I’m back on the wagon this year.  Nice slogan but every game does not count.  First game of the season?  37 days away!  Thursday Aug 30 at 7:00 on ESPN2 Tulsa @ UL-Monroe.  This game does not count for anything.  I will watch.  Next night? Navy / Temple.  Horrible. I will watch.  I will watch all of these games on a boat.  I will watch them with a goat.  I will watch these college football games, TheFullBug, I am. 

Just did it

My Mom and Dad had two sons with different hobbies.  My brother likes to jog, read, run his business, and point at his degrees while talking about how great he is.  I like to make up crap (under the assumed name of an odd little dude from the town I grew up in) to complain about and send it off to companies to see what they will say.  So, we’re not really that different.  

Dear people at Nike,

I recently purchased a pair of your Air Jordan shoes believing 

all the ads. I am somewhat overweight and thought this may help.

Sadly, I am now just a fat guy that still can't jump with 

expensive shoes. Is this what you wanted?  What should I do now? 

Sincerely,
-Vincent Dry

Response (Lisa) - 09:13 AM
Dear Vincent,

Thank you for your recent Nike purchase. We are sorry to hear

that you are not satisfied with your Air Jordan's. We would 

like you to know that Nike footwear is technically designed 

to perform during specific athletic activities.  Unfortunately, 

they are not going to make you jump higher but they will 

give you the necessary support that you need while on the 

court. You may want to consider taking your Jordan's back 

to the retailer if you decide that they are not suited for 

your needs. 

Vincent, we appreciate the time you have taken 

to contact us and hope that you continue to think of Nike 

as a brand that represents quality.

Sincerely,

Lisa
Nike

PS: Have you checked out NIKE iD yet? You can make your own 

custom Nike gear and buy it online at [some website]