A few things I learned in December

Santa Claus IS real.  I know this because I stood behind him waiting to pee.  No mortal man would be able to go that long!  Lay off the eggnog, Nick!

$95.00 a night does not cover the high cost of local phone calls at the N. Little Rock Hampton Inn.    

When commenting on the “Introducing the vanilla Frosty” sign at Wendy’s, congratulating the dude at the window for inventing the vanilla shake is funnier to you than him. 

The Arizona State band has the most homo looking uniforms I’ve ever seen on a marching band.  Looks kind of like a local cable access gay super hero TV show outfit.